


The Fourth Love

by pieandsouffles



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, T'hy'la
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-10
Updated: 2014-05-10
Packaged: 2018-01-24 05:07:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1592714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pieandsouffles/pseuds/pieandsouffles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He wasn’t sure when it started. </p><p>Somewhere in between Spock stranding him on the most godforsaken planet known to the Federation and Nibiru, something changed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Fourth Love

He wasn’t sure when it started. 

Somewhere in between Spock stranding him on the most godforsaken planet known to the Federation and Nibiru, something changed. 

He wasn’t sure when they started to take their meals together, couldn’t hope to pinpoint a date when they started seeing each other on and off the bridge.  He remembered a disastrous diplomatic mission to a dilithium-rich planet – the natives, it turned out, were engaged in full-blown civil war. 

“Look, I don’t know what you think you’re going to get out of this-” Jim began, staring up at his captors, whose greenish scales glittered.  Jim wasn’t sure he would ever get used to the sheer diversity that the universe seemed to be able to throw at them, and the Sckayen race was no exception. 

“We wish to utilize your advanced weaponry to force the rebel secession to reabsorb into our republic,” the creature hissed.  Jim thought it most closely resembled a cross between a bipedal crocodile and a gecko, and he would have been entirely hopeless at understanding their language without the assistance of his universal translator. 

“Captain, he’s not going to release us,” Uhura whispered from where she was tied at his back.  They had been pressed together on the floor of their legislative chamber for over three hours, simply waiting.  “Their technologies have been destroyed by the war, they lack even basic communication systems to transfer messages in between the capitol and the front lines.” 

“Just wish we’d been able to call Spock before everything went to shit,” Jim said, craning his neck in a vain attempt to see Uhura’s face. 

“He’ll come, Captain,” Uhura said.  “He always does.” 

“Yeah, well he’d better hurry the fuck up, ‘cause marble isn’t exactly comfortable,” Jim complained.  “Unbelievable, Command _promised_ an easy mission after the last one, three security officers _dead-_ ”

“Jim, you know there was nothing you could have done,” Uhura chided gently.  “You have to stop beating yourself up about it, you know?  It’s not going to do you any good.”

“You sound-” Jim gasped quietly as the bonds rubbed harder against his already tender wrists, “just like Spock.  Told me it was illogical to mourn for the dead when I couldn’t have done anything to prevent their deaths, or something like that.  Fucking impossible.  How did you ever date him?”

He felt Uhura shrug.  “We had a lot in common.  I guess we just didn’t have a spark.  We’re better as friends, anyways,” she said, rotating her shoulder blades slightly. 

“Wait, do you hear that?”

A muffled bang, sounds of phaser fire, and then –

The door burst open to reveal Spock, flanked by six security officers. 

“Captain, Lieutenant, are you injured?” he asked, crossing the chamber and beginning to work on their bonds. 

“Nothing a dermal regenerator can’t fix,” Jim said cheerfully, irrationally pleased to see Spock.  Uhura sighed as Spock finished untying the ropes and they were finally able to escape from their restraints. 

“Thanks, Commander,” Uhura said, gracing Spock with a grateful smile.  He nodded.

“You’re the best, Spock,” Jim echoed, clapping his First Officer on the shoulder.  “Now, can we get out of here or what?  I’m really fucking hungry.”

Spock flipped open his communicator.  “Mr. Scott, three to beam up.  Security will follow.” 

“Aye, sir.” 

As they dissolved and reappeared on the transporter pad, Jim glanced over at Spock, who was staring at him with a singular intensity, seemingly reassuring himself that Jim was safe, and that he had done his job adequately. 

“How ‘bout dinner, Spock?” Jim asked as they stepped off the pad.  Uhura glanced at them before going to join Scotty at the control unit.

“That would be agreeable.” 

Jim pressed his comm badge. “Kirk to bridge.”

“Sulu here.”

“Chart a course for our next assigned coordinates and take her out, warp factor three.  I’ll deal with command, this place is a shitshow.” 

“Aye, sir.”

They exited the transporter room and headed toward the lift. 

“Would you mind just eating in my room?” Jim asked.  “I just – I’m not sure I can be around people right now.” 

“I am not opposed to dining in your quarters,” Spock said, although his eyebrow had risen about a centimeter with the question. 

“Cool.  Do you like chess?  Maybe we can play a game.” 

Spock looked at him, the shock apparent on his face. “Indeed, Captain.” 

“And god, Spock, don’t call me ‘Captain’ when we aren’t on duty.  It’s Jim, okay?”

“Yes, Jim.”

They entered Jim’s quarters and he got them food from the replicator – a cheeseburger for himself, a salad for Spock. 

“I do not think Doctor McCoy-”

“Look, you say anything-”

“I would not dream of it,” Spock said, raising one eyebrow as he took a bite of his salad. 

“Do you want something to drink?” Jim asked, pouring himself two fingers of bourbon from the stash he kept on the bottom shelf of his bookcase. 

“Vulcan spice tea would be acceptable,” Spock said, and Jim retrieved it. 

They discussed the mission – how things went, why the civil war was happening, why had it taken so long for Spock to get there?  And how talented was Uhura with alien languages? 

Three hours later, Spock left Jim’s quarters, another chess game scheduled for the following night. 

Spock, as it turned out, was a sore loser. 

Four months and eighty seven chess games later, Jim heard the words he’d been looking for since he’d run into Spock senior on Delta Vega –

“Because you are my friend.”

***

When he woke up, Spock was there. 

Well, Spock and Bones – the two people he cared most about in the world, and of course they were there.  Spock was his best friend, Bones, his brother.  He was alive because of them – he owed them everything. 

When Spock told him it would take months for the _Enterprise_ to complete her repairs, Jim was devastated.  When he asked Spock to relate the death count from the incident with the _Vengeance_ , Spock said nothing, merely stared down at his hands, entwined in his lap.  Jim pressed, but Spock didn’t comply, merely asked that Jim allow him to help with the condolence letters.  They stayed up writing until Jim fell asleep, and repeated the process for three days until all the dead were accounted for. 

Jim did not count how many letters they wrote.  It was better not to know. 

Bones hovered, but finally released him into Spock’s custody – Jim would be staying with him for the duration of the _Enterprise_ ’s mandatory leave.  Bones told him that Spock offered, but Jim thought it was just so that Bones could continue to have someone keep an eye on him while he worked long hours at medical. 

He didn’t mind.  He enjoyed Spock’s company. 

Three months into their leave, Jim bought tickets for the three of them to go to a Giants game. 

“Paying adults to play a child’s game as a profession is illogical,” Spock protested as Jim dragged him out the door.  Bones would be meeting them there. 

“Spock, humans are illogical.  Come on, you know that by now,” Jim teased, straightening the bill of Spock’s cap.  “Not to mention, everyone looks good in a baseball hat.  C’mon, it’s fun!” 

“I much prefer chess, a game of strategy and skill,” Spock said as they boarded a hovertrain that would take them to the stadium. 

“Be glad I’m not taking you to see a football game,” Jim grumbled, leaning back in the seat as the train sped across the city.  “You’d really have a hard time with that.”

“I have no doubt,” Spock said dryly. 

Jim glanced at him.  “If you don’t want to come, you don’t have to.  You can just take the train back.  I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable, or, well, do anything you don’t want to do.” 

“I appreciate spending time with you,” Spock said honestly, and Jim smiled. 

“Look at us, Bones and I used to take the black line to go see Giants games all the time when we were at the academy.  God, feels like ages ago, you know?”

“It was only-”

“Shut up, Spock, I don’t want figures!” Jim laughed as the train slowed to a stop.  Spock relented, and they exited the crowded train to go find Bones.  They had just rounded the east side of the stadium when –

“ _There_ you are,” came Len’s gruff voice from behind them.  “God, what have you done to Spock?”

“He borrowed some of my stuff!”

Len eyed the (admittedly hideous) Giants shirt Jim had forced over Spock’s head that morning in a sneak attack as he had emerged from their shared bathroom. 

“I’m sure it was definitely of his own volition, huh?”

“Yeah-”

“Negative,” Spock said, glaring at Jim.

“Okay, point taken, point taken,” Jim conceded, wrapping one arm around Len’s shoulders and the other around Spock’s. 

“Come on, then, let’s go find our seats.”

“Get off us, you octopus,” Bones growled, and Jim removed his arms, laughing. 

“Come on, this is gonna be fun.  A regular family outing.” 

“Then why’d you bring the hobgoblin?” Bones asked, but his tone was light and teasing. 

“Hey, you’re my brother, but he’s my brother too,” Jim said, nudging Spock in the ribs with his elbow.  “Plus, I think he and I make better roommates than we did, Bones.” 

“I’m sure,” Len said, “not in the least because you aren’t constantly bringing home girls and kicking me out of my _own apartment-_ ”

“That was _one time_!”

“Kid, you did that to me at _least_ three times!”

“It would be unbecoming for the Captain of the Federation’s flagship to be seen copulating with-”

“Jesus, Spock, yes, we _know_ ,” Bones sighed, rubbing distractedly at his eyes as they climbed up the stairs just inside the entryway. 

“All right, guys, who wants a beer?  Captain’s stipend isn’t big, but it’s on me,” Jim said, grinning. 

Although Spock, predictably, declined, Bones accepted, and they proceeded to get reasonably drunk watching bad baseball. 

That night, Spock half-supported Jim to his bed, and he paused in the doorway as he was leaving. 

“Jim?”

“Yeah, Spock?” Jim said, pulling off his shirt and throwing it aimlessly at his closet door. 

“I-”  Spock paused and then, seeing that Jim was having difficulties removing his shoes, did the task for him. 

“Thanks,” Jim said as Spock gathered Jim’s errant articles of clothing and placed them in the laundry basket. 

“It is nothing.  I wish to tell you that – when you said, earlier, that I was like a brother to you-” he hesitated.  Jim had never seen Spock so lost for words, with the notable exception of the Khan incident, as he was dying. 

“Jus… just say it, Spock,” Jim said, reclining against his pillows. 

“It honors me,” Spock finished, his voice a whisper.  “I would have you know I harbor the same sentiment.” 

Jim smiled as he fluffed up a pillow with his right hand.  “Thanks, Spock.  We make a good team.” 

“Indeed.”  Spock left, and Jim turned over onto his side, determined to sleep it off. 

***

Their first mission back aboard the _Enterprise_ proved nearly fatal. 

“How the _hell_ do we always manage to get into these _fucking_ situations?” Jim yelled over the sound of phaser fire.

“I do not know, Captain, although I estimate the probability of such missions at-”

“Spock!” Jim shouted over the din.  “No.  Fucking.  Figures!”  He accentuated each word with a phaser blast around the rock behind which they were taking cover. 

“Apologies,” Spock said as Giotto darted across a small swath of empty space to join them. 

“What the fuck is going on over there?” Jim asked, wincing as a chunk of rock flew over their heads, dislodged from the boulder by a phaser blast. 

“Not sure, sir – it’s a good thing you called us down, though, their weaponry’s advanced.”

“Yeah, tell me something I _don’t_ know!” Jim said, throwing a haphazard shot towards where the creatures were hiding in the tree line. 

“Captain, if we are able to flank them with our remaining security officers, we may be able to surround them and prevent them from escaping.” 

“Fuck,” Jim swore as another piece of rock flew by, scraping his cheek.  He pulled out his communicator.  “Rhys, come in!”

“Captain!” came her voice from the speaker. 

“I need you to move to the right of their location – Takaki’s gonna be moving in on the left, and the rest of us will come up the middle, distract them long enough for you to get in position.  Once we’ve got them surrounded, we can hopefully get them to surrender their weapons.  You wait thirty seconds, then you go.  Got it?”

“Yes, sir!”

He called Takaki to relay the information, then turned to Giotto and Spock.  “Okay, ready?”

Terse nods were his only answer. 

“Go!”

They sprinted across the alpine clearing, pausing to take refuge behind scraggly trees and large glacially-deposited boulders before plunging ahead.  Spock was at his side the whole way, phaser raised and firing with uncanny precision. 

They surrounded the natives – a stout race, their skin mottled to help them camouflage in their relatively barren environment, and Jim was just congratulating himself on a job well done when he realized that one of them still had a phaser, and they were pointing it straight at Spock. 

Jim only knew he was moving, only knew he _needed to protect Spock_ , before everything went dark.

 

Distantly, he was aware of pain, an ache deep in his bones that could only come from a phaser blast.  He opened his eyes to the medical sterility of Sickbay and groaned. 

“God, did they have a third setting, the “crush your entire fucking muscular system setting,” or-”

“Jim,” came the belated gasp next to him, and Jim turned to see Spock at his bedside, deep olive shadows under his eyes, looking haggard. 

“My god, didn’t I take a phaser blast for you? You should look a bit better,” Jim said, and his voice was raspy – he wondered how long he’d been out. 

“Three days, you asshole,” Bones said, appearing at his other side and smiling grimly before shoving a hypo into his neck.

“Fuck, Bones, _don’t do that_!”

“It’s what you deserve, taking a phaser shot meant for Spock when you _know_ he has a better chance of surviving – all that Vulcan voodoo-”

“Vulcan healing trances are not “voodoo,” Doctor,” Spock protested, but Bones waved away the comment. 

“Anyways, that should help relieve some of the pain.”

“When can I-”

“You’re _unbelievable_.  Two days, and then a week of light duty.  I’m not budging on that, you hear?”

Jim grinned.  “Sure, Bones.”

“You almost died, it’s not-”

“Excuse me, Doctor, if I could speak privately with the Captain,” Spock interjected.  Jim and Bones turned to him in shock. 

“Not like he’s my patient or anything,” Bones grumbled as he left the room and drew the privacy shades. 

“Jim,” Spock said again, searching Jim’s face as if looking for some sort of answer.  Jim wished he knew the question. 

“I-” Spock paused, and his hands began to tremble.  Jim wanted to reach out, to take Spock’s hands in his, but he knew how Vulcans were about touch, what with their telepathy and all –

“You must promise that you will never risk your life for me again.”

“Spock,” Jim sighed, “you know I can’t do that.  You mean… you mean a lot to me.” 

“And you, me,” Spock said.  “Jim, I-”

“Spit it out, Spock, you’re going to give yourself an aneurysm if you keep bottling-”

“I am in love with you.”

Jim stopped breathing. 

“You – what?”

“I am in love with you, and I cannot bear to lose you again.  I understand if you do not reciprocate my feelings, and if it will be a detriment to our working relationship, I am willing to-”

Jim reached out and grabbed Spock’s hands, drew them to his mouth, and brushed his lips across his knuckles.  All formality left Spock’s face, and his features were open, vulnerable, and so, so _human_.

“Spock,” Jim whispered, gently opening one of Spock’s fists and pressing a gentle kiss to his palm.  “Please, just shut up.” 

As he pulled Spock in for a human kiss, he pushed across their touch

_I love you, too._

***

“Spock, I’m really not sure about this, there’s some stuff in there-”

“Jim,” he interjected, tracing the line of Jim’s pectoral muscle with one long, slender finger.  “Are you referencing events that occurred on Tarsus?”

Jim exhaled heavily, intently studying the pattern of Spock’s chest hair and allowing his eyes to wander hungrily across the muscles of his torso. 

“In part.”

“Do you not trust me?” Spock pressed gently. 

“I trust you with my life.” 

“Then I see no issue,” Spock said, leaning in to kiss Jim’s neck.  He pulled insistently at the short hairs at the base of Jim’s skull, and Jim tilted his head back in response to give Spock greater access. 

“I know you love me, but if you see some of the stuff I’ve done-”

“Jim,” Spock interrupted, “what do you know about the four loves?”

“No, I’m not – ah!” Jim gasped as Spock bit softly into the swath of skin between his shoulder and his collarbone.  “I’m not familiar with them.” 

“A twentieth century Terran author detailed them in one of his works,” Spock murmured.  “There is philia, the love between friends.  This is what I came to feel for you in the months preceding the incident with Khan.”  His lips traveled lower, pausing to suck a bruise into the tender flesh underneath Jim’s collarbone. 

 _Because you are my friend_. 

“What’s-” Jim paused, “what’s the second?”

“Storge,” Spock whispered.  “Brotherly love, often found by those who share a familial connection, or find themselves pushed together by chance.”  He looked up at Jim, pupils dilated, breath quickening.  “During the months we spent together as roommates on Terra, I realized I cared for you as more than just a friend.” 

 _I would have you know I harbor the same sentiment._  

“Spock,” Jim moaned, entangling his fingers in Spock’s hair as he made his way down to Jim’s navel. 

“The third,” Spock said in between kisses, “is eros.  Romantic love.” 

“This,” Jim whispered, “is this eros, then?” 

“In a sense,” Spock said, licking the hollows below Jim’s hipbones. 

“God,” Jim groaned.  “What’s the fourth one, then?  What’s better than this?”

“Agape,” Spock said, steadily moving back up Jim’s body.  Jim huffed in frustration – he was fully ready to go another round. 

“What is it?” Jim asked around Spock’s lips. 

“Unconditional love,” Spock said, pulling away and tracing the tip of Jim’s ear.  “The author recognized it as the greatest of loves.”

“Is it?” Jim said, chasing Spock’s lips, but he retreated farther. 

“Indeed.  But that is not what I feel for you.” 

That stopped Jim.  “Then how do you feel?”

“It cannot be properly translated into Federation Standard.”

“Give it a shot,” Jim said, tonguing up to the pointed tip of Spock’s ear and eliciting a full-body shudder.

“You are _t’hy’la._   Friend, brother, lover.  It is the rarest of bonds,” he whispered, taking Jim’s hand in his and stroking his index and middle fingers against Jim’s own.  “It is everything.” 

“ _T’hy’la_ ,” Jim repeated, rolling the word on his tongue and determining he liked the taste. 

“This is why I wish to meld with you.  There is no force in this universe that can change what you are to me.”

Jim took Spock’s hand and guided it to the meld points he recalled from what seemed like so long ago, in a cave on a desolate ice planet the Federation forgot. 

“Then show me.”  

**Author's Note:**

> this is what happens when you procrastinate and don't do your homework, spend too much time on tumblr, and cry over star trek too much! kudos are love <33


End file.
